Blog From America 5 (Buying a Bible)

25 February 2010

Went to the local Christian bookstore today to look at Bibles. One of my weakness, this. I enjoy the quite starling array of choices and bindings on display, and I usually end up buying one (can't resist it, a bit like a magpie and shiny objects). I especially like the thin Bibles, and they have lots of those: Thinline, Slimline, Ultrathin and Ultraslim (honest). Aside from an array of thicknesses, bindings and versions, I even came across a Waterproof Bible made from special paper designed especially for those whose work in wet conditions makes this a must-have. Presumably, then, this is the Bible of choice for plumbers, swimming pool cleaners, lifeguards, restaurant kitchen washing up workers, synchronised swimmers, and Alaskan crab fishermen out in the Bering Straits (let me know any others I missed). But the wackiest are the specialist Bibles, designed for those in particular jobs or professions, or else to assist you in getting across your pet doctrine. Thus I saw (to mention but a few) the Military Bible, American Patriot Bible, Firefighter's Bible, Police Bible (complete with matching handcuffs and rubber truncheon... no, just joking), and even an Atheist Bible (not designed for atheists but rather to help you challenge them), a Darwin New Testament (ditto) and a Word of Promise Bible. Lest those of you on the Evangelical left or of a liberal Protestant persuasion feel a little left out, don't worry, they're getting in on the act too, with a Peace and Justice Bible and several others. Which all goes to show how, in our postmodern, relativist age, you can tailor the Bible to pretty well any circumstance, message or situation.