King's Evangelical Divinity School

21 February 2010

Conned By My Local Superstore

Yesterday I really needed a break from it all... theology, blogging, marking, writing, or whatever. So while in our local superstore I browsed through the DVDs and came across the movie 2012, you know, the blockbuster about the end of the world. Now, I haven't seen this film, I also recalled reviews were mixed. But for a fiver you can't go wrong, while I knew whaever happened at the very least the kids would enjoy it.

I was quite wrong, couldn't be more wrong, in fact, in both assumptions. Within a very few minutes it was clear something was not right. We were all soon pointing out lousy special effects ("awful effects" would have been a more apt title), poor film and soundtrack, numerous quite ludicrous inconsistencies in the plot, and terrible acting (none of the actors were known to us, by the way). As the end of the world begins to draw nigh, about 20-25 minutes into the movie, by which time my family members are beginning to disappear one by one from the living room, mumbling excuses about homework, the film makes several oblique references to God. A sneaking suspicion led me to look up the film on the Internet and I was right! We had not bought 2012 at all, but a Christian movie entitled 2012: Doomsday. This was a strange piece of cinematography, with no clearly discernible Christian message other than apocalypse (which was bizarrely reversed when four people placed an ancient crucifix in an abandoned Mayan temple). Happily, our fast forward button is in good working order and it got plenty of activity last night.

It all goes to show three thing. First, the Christian film makers back in the early 1970s were at least consistent in their attempt to scare the living daylights out of us by focusing on the same message of missing the rapture (remember A Thief in the Night?). Second, once again it is proved that Christians should stick to what they're good at. I suggest (with the odd exception) this does not include making films, writing and performing pop music, producing television programmes, or performing dance. Finally, it demonstrates the uncanny ability of superstore sales teams to dupe you into buying almost anything, although in this case I rather suspect the store was itself duped into mass buying what it thought was the original 2012. I can only hope so. It seems only fair they experience some of the utter misery I had to endure last night.

1 comment:

Stuart said...

Fristly I'm sorry for your dreary film night, but this statement made me laugh my socks off:-

I suggest (with the odd exception) this does not include making films, writing and performing pop music, producing television programmes, or performing dance.

How true! Don't even get me started on flag / ribbon waving, bare foot, cringe inducing "dance worship".

I know many folk would disagree with me, but I found Mel Gibson's "Passion" film to be one of the most awful, disturbing, depressing and harrowing films ever. I simply wouldn't recommend my worst enemy to see it.

And then there is the "Left Behind" films....